How did I ever survive.
August 29, 2008Tonight I learned the horrible truth…I have been subjected to years of pesticides and chemicals that have obviously stunted my growth and educational capacity. Steph told me tonight that we have to wash the car seat cover to get the dyes and residues removed. I don’t know that mine was washed prior to my getting in it. I have, for years wore new pants without washing them first. Now I have to sit back and think about how I have been limited in my life because of the pesticides and dyes that have apparently stripped me of so much raw talent and opportunity. Below you will find a picture of me. Yep that’s me on the right, all those years of chemicals and dyes really stunted my growth.
Note also that I have a small brain much like that of a chicken. Notice it below.
Yep… in all my time in education I have only earned a B.S. in Chemistry, M.Div., Th.M., and almost a Ph.D. in Christian Education. How many Ph.D.’s could I have had, 5,6,7, maybe 8. I guess “8 is enough” as “I rock ya mama” said tonight. I guess I could have grown taller, 6′4″ is not enough, note in the picture above, the other guy is 20′ 11 3/4″ tall. I have a long way to go.
All that said to say this, I am sure that because of the stringent use of stringent in our household, and the princess of cleanliness (Steph), that my son will have intelligence far above and beyond what his, oh so hindered, father had.
Wait…Wait…I think I have found the latest ultrasound picture of Samuel.
Yep looks like he is going to be a smart cookie…just like his ol’dad.
Later
This truly is hilarious! I can so hear you having this conversations with Stephanie. Have I told you lately that I miss our intense discussions in that little post-Katrina “office?”
I am just amazed how you have missed so much because you have been stunted in your education and growth because of psticides and chemicals. I will pray for you that you will be delivered from these toxins and that you can resume your growing along with your son Sam as he grows. And who knows, we may one day see you and Sam as the tallest and smartest father and son in the world.